But let's back up. I have been talking about this torture post for a while now, being all secretive about what I would uncover. Don't get me wrong, I can torture myself like a champion, and in many different ways. For instance:
Fashion
Cowl necks make no sense to me.
Work
Beauty
But today, I'm talking about something very specific to the exercise realm of my life.
If you have ever been to the gym and seen the mutant pool noodles stacked up in the corner of the stretching area, you may have wondered what they're for. By the way, it's best to steer clear because they are likely ridden with sweaty, nasty germs.
If you're a runner, you may be familiar with them and likely have one or two of your own. They are:
Foam rollers are commonly used to relieve IT band issues, which is why runners tend to use them. But, let's start off by getting something straight. If anyone tells you that using a foam roller is like getting a massage, then that person is a DIRTY, ROTTEN LIAR. Pay attention to me.
The first time you use your foam roller you will be VERY EXCITED. You will imagine your IT band (or whatever other) pain will disappear within seconds.
You will be wrong.
You may want to wait to foam roll until the house is empty of small children and/or the faint of heart. You should probably close your windows too, especially if you have a Home Owners' Association. As you start to roll, you will hear the most colourful language emanate from the depths of your soul.
It. Hurts.
However, it works. If you continue to subject yourself to this pain daily, you will find it gets better. People frequently tweet about foam rolling, often adding the hash tag #hurtssogood. And it's true; it can be very satisfying. You might even start thinking about new sore spots to roll out.
Like, your calves.
Your quads.
Your armpit.
Oh yes.
But if you're anything like me, you'll leave the foam roller in a corner for awhile, and find that you have to start over from scratch. Eventually you will pull it out again though and start the process all over again.
Just make sure you have a fresh bar of soap on hand for when you're done.
UPCOMING POSTS: RACE RECAP, MY PT VISITS, RUNNING WITH EARPHONES
Hilarious... Armpit! :)
ReplyDeleteI've been thinking that perhaps I should start some foam rolling. This might just be the post that spurs me into action!
You will love/hate it! But it does help.
DeleteAwesome! And yep, gotta get that foam roller OUT of the corner and hurt myself in a good way!
ReplyDeleteThanks :) I do too...it's just been watching me for weeks now, making me feel guilty.
DeleteIt's fricking hard to roll out those armpits! Been there, tried that! This post had #1Hubs and I LOLing. We love our foam rollers; but they are mean mofos sometimes!
ReplyDeleteThe family that rolls together stays together, right? Um, so I have to ask...how many husbands do you have?
DeleteI really need to foam roll more. Good intentions,,,we all know where those lead us
ReplyDeleteI hear ya. I'm off to buy a new bar of soap.
DeleteI'm an avid roller! I voluntarily subject myself to the pain :)
ReplyDeleteGood thing to do if you want to stay injury-free. You're dedicated!
DeleteBahaha! I've never heard of Foam Rollers of Death, before. Love your creative swearing! Especially "tabarnouche"! Reminds me of Tabarnac! ;)
ReplyDeleteThat's exactly where it comes from! I went to school with a lot of francophone girls and they would say "tabarnouche" all the time because they didn't want to swear :)
DeleteAlso, do you ever sing, "Let me see that foam-y roll!" while...err...rolling? (to the tune of Tootsee Roll, of course).
ReplyDeleteHilarious! And it's all true!!!
ReplyDeleteThanks! It is, isn't it?
DeleteLove this because this was me three weeks ago when I bought my first roller and used it! It's in the corner and hasn't been touched since then! 😁
ReplyDeleteMine is staring at me still this morning. Maybe I'll get it out again today.
DeleteSo funny!
ReplyDeleteI haven't foam rolled yet, but as I start running longer distances, I'm guessing it's going to be inevitable!
Well, it probably depends on who you talk to. But it will really help you knees and hips because it's such a good tool for your IT bands.
DeleteI HAAAAAAATE the foam roller. I need to be using it more often, but I'm lazy and I don't like pain (worst runner ever).
ReplyDeleteYeah, it's ok. I don't like mine these days either, not that I've been running much anyway.
DeleteMy word, such harsh language. Never have my virgin ears been violated with such filth as "tabarnouche" whilst reading. Yeah, using one in a gym just seems a bit unsanitary. Still not quite sure how they work, but if your post is any indication, I'll probably steer clear.
ReplyDeleteI really was thinking of your delicate sensibilities when I wrote this :D
DeleteI loooove my foam roller....I should name it....hmmm
ReplyDeleteI don't think I would come up with a very nice name for mine.
DeleteI just started foam rolling since I started CrossFit.. it is the best and worst thing ever haha!
ReplyDeleteAha! I was just wondering if anyone else besides runners foam roll! I'm so glad to know that CrossFitters do too. Obviously, anyone can, but it seems like only runners talk about it.
Deletebahahahaha, this is exactly how i feel. Love hate relationship with my foam roller. EEK!
ReplyDeleteI knew there were others who felt like me :)
DeleteSo that's what those are for! And thank you for the warning... I think I probably won't go near them.
ReplyDeleteYou're welcome! It's best to get your own, if you want to submit yourself to the torture.
DeleteMy PT keeps yelling at me to get one. But they're so expensive! I keep wondering if I can use an old pool noodle or something.
ReplyDeletePool noodles are too squishy. You can get one on average for $20 on amazon (as low as $6!)
DeleteI have a love/hate relationship with my foam roller. It does hurt when you use it...a lot!
ReplyDeleteHaha, foam rolling is so painful - but it hurts so good! I've finally started doing it more consistently now! Yay me!
ReplyDeleteSigh...I really should get up and roll now.
DeleteI AM SOO LIKE YOU.
ReplyDeleteexcept I have two, too.
and they both hit the corner...until they dont :-)
If I were you I think I would use the excuse that I wouldn't want to roll off all that amazing ink :D
DeleteI am the same way - I roll and roll and roll and then I forget to and then it hurts and I swear and scream and say OMFG!!!!!! :P I loved the drawings - balancing for the hams is a tough one! lol
ReplyDeleteYes, I rolled last night. It wasn't fun :S
DeleteI have an entire basket of torture devices. Regular foam roller, rumble roller, the stick, a golf ball, and a lacrosse ball. #hurtssogood
ReplyDeleteWatch out for those lip injections!
Please educate me: what do the rumble roller and the stick do that the regular foam roller doesn't? I think I'm safe on the lip injections as long as Melanie Griffin (Griffith?) and Meg Ryan keep getting them!
DeleteIt does NOT feel like a massage--you are 100% correct! So, so very painful.
ReplyDeleteThis reminds me. . . I haven't foam rolled in a while. ;)
Oh, I did yesterday and it was painful. Good luck!
DeleteYour plethora of swear words were definitely my favorite. I think I liked Mother Hubbard the best. :) I've never even heard of this torture device and I think I'm glad.
ReplyDeleteMother Hubbard is particularly satisfying in moments of distress :) (I still think you look like a different person, and don't tell E2 but I think he's pretty funny)
DeleteOh I can't believe I didn't see this post earlier! Thank you for cracking me up again :-D. I foam-roll swear like a boss - but sometimes in the gym I purse my lips and stay really quiet, just to prove that my body is more awesome and I have a higher pain threshold than everyone else. Swearing on the inside.
ReplyDeleteSwearing on the inside...that's hard core. You're Hard-Core-Kate.
Deletehahahahaha. I love teaching foam rollers because the sounds and faces that come from my students make me laugh really hard. And I'm laughing AT them, not WITH them! If you would use your roller a bit more consistently, you'd discover it doesn't hurt after a while because you'll roll the kinks (tissue adhesions) out. By the way, you do know it feels just like a massage, right? I mean the kind where the ladies walk on you with sharp heels.
ReplyDeleteOh you're so mean :D I am going to go foam roll right now so that I can get less kinky.
DeleteBut but but, they told me that these things were supposed to be amazing. Then again by they I mean the massive body builder who was in a Youtube video explaining how to use it. ._.
ReplyDeleteWell. "they" may be a glutton for punishment :P
Delete