Mind-Bending Thoughts on My L*S**D*** Runs

Of course, by "LSD", you all know what I'm talking about.

L*:

S**:

D***:

What did you think I meant?  Seriously, these aren't the 70s.

Or the 80s, though you wouldn't know it walking through a mall.

C'mon guys, I posted an 80s-style picture last week.  Remember the mullet?  You really don't need to see another 80s version of me do you? What's that? You do?  Really? Ok, fine.

Look at that.  It's ridiculous, isn't it?  But you didn't come here to see my fashionista-ness, you came to read about my long runs!

LSD runs are training runs that are designed to help you build your endurance.  There are no fancy sprints or other maneuvres involved; you just run for a long time. (Truth be told, I love these runs.)

Sometimes I do my long runs with other people Ann Marie.  One day in the spring, TriGuy joined us for an 11 miler.  I was at the tail end of a bad cold and as we ran, I kept being distracted by a strange, rhythmic whistling sound.

After roughly 15 minutes of looking around and getting increasingly annoyed, I had a horrifying revelation:

Colds make me sexy.  

A month or so later we were running with Dr. Tim, when I made a pretty revolutionary observation:

Always.  Without fail.

Of course when I'm running by myself, my thoughts tend to be more fleeting, as there is no one with whom to flesh them out.  Those runs usually go something like this:

Me lost in thought:  I wonder which clients I have on Monday.  (10 more miles and I'm on a hill.  No problemo.) Am I supposed to do transition testing this week?  Oh shoot, I'll have to go in earl...

Aww, I bet he wants a treat.  Mmm, a treat.  That sounds good.

Hmm, maybe something fruitier (Oh look, a hill again).

I honestly can't remember the last time I ate gum drops.  Ouch!  Why does my ribcage hurt?? 

I wonder (5 more miles?? Wow!) what a heart attack feels like.  It's probably not a heart attack. I'm fine.  I'll just keep running.  Oh, my pace is really great right now!  Wow, that house is really...purple.

That reminds me of the time (Oh, 4 miles to go and another hill!) I got grape ice cream when I was a kid. 

I didn't care for it. But, I could go for some mint chocolate chip.   

No, maybe a Coke!

Yum.  Whoa. What is that pain?  Is that my Achilles again?  Am I going to have to stop running??

Oh wait.  No.  It's gone.  I'm fine.  Holy moly is that woman topless??  

Is that a woman???  Yes, a bodybuilder woman.  Huh.  

I know, I know; it's not polite to stare.  But she was lying in a public park in full view of the street above.  And I will admit that on occasion I'm the one garnering the attention, NOT for being topless of course, but perhaps for my awesome awkward running style.  So, I now have a public service announcement to the rare dude who shouts out his window at me as he is driving by:

I have no idea if you are propositioning me, insulting me, or just trying to startle me.  All I ever hear is:

So to you sir, I either say "Thank you" or "Get bent." But either way, please stay out of my way.  I've spent the past 2 hours thinking about food and I just might reach in and grab whatever it is you have in your cup holder if you get any closer.

After all, I've been on L*S**D*** all morning.

UPCOMING POSTS:  SWIMMING, A RACE RECAP, MY RETURN TO PT, AND THE TORTURE POST I KEEP MENTIONING

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